Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Dating Question

by Luke Skyhopper

Ever since I dropped the standard Orthodox approach to living, I've been in a funky dating quandary. I can certainly date anyone I wish, but I don't care to waste time, effort and money on incompatible broads.

My first premise is that Shiksas are for practice. The guilt never allowed me to get beyond the first few rounds, and for now my hopes of finding a Swedish Blonde Orthoprax chick are quite ridiculously small.

Although I don't wish to rant, dating your average Modox chick is somewhat pointless for me. Most of the time they have the standard seminary induced approach and know little to nothing about modern scholarship or skepticism in general. Nor do they find this to be remotely appealing. Perhaps an educated Stern girl exists, but I have yet to find them. On the positive side, at least they have the same background and thus have that connection which only Ortho Jews can relate to.

Secular/Traditional Jew-girls don't seem to get it. Judaism to them was never anything more than a bunch of holidays, foods and maybe a few rituals here and there. Jewish learning is cute, but not something they can spew in their sleep like any graduate of "the system". Thus the connection is somewhat tenuous and skin deep.

Of course in an ideal world, I would just clone a female version of myself and create further in-bred Ashkenazim, but then whats the fun?

I have never dated any right wing Conservative Jew girls aka Conservadox, and theoretically that is where my el Dorado of Jew-ass lies. But by the same token, I am not Conservative, nor have any affiliation with the movement.

Of course I realize that I'm stereotyping a bit, and that ultimately I am seeking an individual, not a brand. However placing myself in the proper situation would likely expedite this process.

I am quite curious as to what other Orthoprax Jews do with this dicey situation.

Is there an NYC Orthoprax single scene that I have yet to find?

Happy 2010 Yidden, non-Yidden and Muppets


zibble said...

incompatible broads

Shiksas are for practice

Such respect for women! Any girl would be lucky with a guy like you...

JewishGadfly said...

Nah, take it with a grain of salt--he's a nice Jewish boy.

Luke Skyhopper said...

"el Dorado of Jew ass" I can't believe anyone missed that one.

all in jest dear Zibble

Dunking Rachel said...

hummmm try trolling in the jew by choice when they were something else...then have studied crazy to pass the various gates of entry to the club.......

or get yourself a a non affiliated Shiksas...perhaps a buddhist...a UU...and convert them!

G*3 said...

> Perhaps an educated Stern girl exists, but I have yet to find them.

I know a few girls who went to Stern. They’re educated, but like many frum people (or people in general) have little real interest in philosophy, theology, etc.

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

You need to find someone who shares your value system. Don’t worry so much about her interest in theology or biblical criticism. How she arrived at her current values isn’t nearly as important as whether those values mesh with your own. A lot of guys I know have wives whose eyes glaze over if they have to hear about their husband’s interests.